How Can We Improve The Quality Of Conversations With Children

Sarah Stults

3 years ago

Parents have you ever thought to yourself how can we improve the quality of conversations with children?

No worries you aren’t alone.

That’s literally every parent in the world.

You try talking to your kids and it’s like, “hello! anyone home?”

I understand kids do not come with a manual at all cause wouldn’t that just be heaven if they did?

I feel like this is God’s sense of humor!

Even though our children don’t pop out holding the perfect guide to parenting, there are some ways to help the quality of conversation you have with your children.

I am here to help!

Let’s jump in!

How We Can Improve Quality Conversations With Our Children

A lot of parents are lost when it comes to having a good quality conversation with their kids.

They may honestly not know why.

We all learn together so it’s important to make sure we are supporting other parents.

Don’t put others down simply because they don’t do things the way you do.

It sets a bad example for our children when we talk to others with judgement or other unkind words.

There are many reasons a conversation might not turn out the way you thought it would to start with.

Sometimes it can’t be avoided at all.

However, there are many different things that you can do as parents to better the quality of conversations you have with your children.

Somethings that help are setting a good example, asking questions, getting on their level, keeping distractions away from the conversations as much as possible.

These are just a few of the things we will be discussing.

Setting The Example

In order for our children to be able to have a quality conversation with us we have to show them how.

Just like they don’t come out like “here mom and dad, this is how you raise me,” they do not come out with a book telling them how to have a conversation either.

Teaching them starts at birth talking to them listen to their coos back and respond.

Yes they are probably going to look at you like “dummy I don’t understand,” what in the undiscovered language you just spoke, but they will coo back at you or maybe just fart or burp.

Regardless, how you talk to them as an infant will help them be able to talk as they get older.

If you don’t want them screaming or yelling at you then don’t scream and yell at them.

You are the example on how to communicate and if all you do is set negative examples well you reap what you sow.

Children are going to give back exactly what you give and teach.

So instead of getting frustrated and yelling try getting down to their level and talk in a calm low voice.

Ask Your Children Questions

How can we improve the quality of conversations with children when asking questions?

I strongly suggest asking questions about how there day was at school.

Kids want to share about there day with their parents even if they act like they don’t.

Asking how their day went makes them feel important to you.

Maybe they had a really rough day and they are tired and grouchy.

You can ask them about what the funniest part of their day was and laugh with them

This will teach them how to take something that might not have been so great and turn it into something better.

Ask them about their friends, teachers, or even upcoming events.

Do overwhelm your child with questions if they seem like they aren’t interested in talking.

Instead, let them know you have an open ear if they want to talk to you later.

Use Words And Ideas They Understand

How can we improve the quality of conversations with children using words and ideas they understand will definitely make a difference in your conversations with your child.

Remember these are little people and they do not grasp things that are way over there head.

Try to use words that are more on their level.

I’m not saying baby talk them when I say on their level I mean explain things in simple steps with an example for them to follow.

Kind of like when you are potty training your toddler you do say go use the bathroom on their first try doing it.

You show them and explain you sit on the potty like mom or dad and you go potty instead of going in your diaper.

Sometimes things take a few times to explain and show then others so be patient remember we are setting the example for good conversations.

Keep All Distractions Away

I know for me it’s so hard to focus on the words that someone is saying to me when there’s other things going on.

When you are trying to talk to your child remove any distractions for either you or your child.

These things include TVs, cell phones, other electronics, or even hobbies.

Eye contact or at least getting on their level to talk to them helps them focus on the words you say.

Make sure there aren’t a bunch of people around when you try to talk to your child.

Go somewhere quiet in your house or maybe pick up dinner and find a quiet park to have dinner at.

Ensuring there aren’t distractions will definitely improve the quality of conversation you are having with your child.

Don’t allow others your butt in to you and your child’s conversation this can be a distraction from the goal you are amid at.

Another distraction could be your body language or tone of voice.

When you want to have a good quality conversation with your child make sure you are calm.

They will model the behavior that you are showing them.

Reading Is So Important For Quality Conversations

Learning how to improve your quality conversations with children starts with reading.

Reading has been shoved down our throats our entire life because it is so important in so many ways.

Having a quality conversation is one of those ways.

When a child hears different words read out loud to them they hear the way the word is suppose to be said.

They also learn the context of the words that are being read to them and they learn to use those words on their own.

Hearing words read from a book, on signs, on t-shirts, or anywhere else helps children to have a bigger vocabulary and a better understanding of word usage.

Repetition is Important

Communication is the most important thing we as human beings have without it there is misunderstandings that occur.

Making sure we use words often when we talk to our kids will help them keep them in mind.

Children learn from repetition doing things over and over again or even hearing things over and over again.

I guess that saying I sound like a broken record isn’t so unclear now.

Children need us to say things over and over again because they need to hear it many times a day before it sticks.

Think about it in context of a song.

When a new song comes out they play it over and over on the radio after two days they know pretty much all the words to the song if not every word.

This is because of repetition works for young people.

Explain Consequences

Learning how to have a quality conversations with children also means spelling out and explaining then they are wrong.

Don’t be harsh when you explain why what they did was wrong or how they can correct it.

Give them examples talk to them about what they think they should do next time.

Let them know ahead of time what will happen good or bad.

This will help them too understand things a little better.

Praise For Good Communication

So our goal here is to learn how to improve quality conversations with children and part of that is letting them know you are proud of them when they accomplish carrying on a good conversation with you or others.

Even if it’s just one thing they did right make sure you point it out.

Even if a child acts like they don’t care what you have to say trust me your praise goes further then a negative response.

A lot of times parents find themselves caught up in only pointing out the bad that they forget to point out all the good choices they have made.

Point out things like when they stay calm during your conversation even them talking is so important to praise.

A simple good job will mean the world to them and help them to remember that for the next conversation.

You can never give a child to much praise for doing what you asked of them.

In fact praise builds a bond with your child and shows them that they are important to you.

I hope that you will use some of these ideas in your home so you can improve your quality conversations with your children.

These are even great tips for teachers, babysitters, or anyone else who works with children regularly.

If you want more information about how to start having quality conversations with your kids check out how to have quality conversations with children.

There are a lot of great tips to get you started on the path to being able to have healthy communications with your child.

Remember to be on your child’s level and give lots of praise.